Surgery is not going to fix all your problems and if you think that’s the case STOP NOW…….
I knew that from the beginning but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have hopes that all my problems would magically disappear. Especially when I felt that it stemmed from my looks of how overweight I was.
You know what (excuse the language) BRAIN FUCKED means??? Well that’s what I am now. Brain fucked..
Brain fucked- .. that general feeling of stupidity. the point at which your brain is processing so much information that you feel so tired so much so as if your brain is being fucked/raped by information. the point of which something is too hard to comprehend, To over-think or over-analyze something (which is usually quite simple).
All these are definitions from Urban dictionary… I feel all of the above.
I’ve lost 73 pds and I’m still not happy… I am getting much more attention now and yet I can’t find a meaningful relationship.
I’ve started drinking… I’m drinking during the week not just the weekend. Not everyday but at least 3 days out of the week I’m drinking a whole bottle of wine. Something I feared would happen to me after surgery.
I’ve slept with my ex again (yes the one in the previous post about breaking my heart but he is also the one who paid to fix my car) not once but twice and in my mind came to an agreement that we’d be FWB (at my discretion).
Met a guy at a club and made out with him without even knowing him!
Yes this sounds very hoeish and I don’t care if you think I am. I’ve never been this way …. that said… I’m putting my personal life out there for those of you who do read this to know that not all is awesome!
Yes, things are well in the WLS department… I’m thankful I’ve had no complications and I can pretty much eat lots of things.
But this post is not about that, it’s about being brain fucked. All has fallen on me, school,work, family problems,money issues,car problems, men problems and image issues.
Yes the image issues… I look in the mirror and see the SAME FAT GIRL… same 242 pd fat girl. It’s all in the mind, so if you are thinking about getting the surgery think twice about running to get right away. Take your time and see a therapist, talk to them and work through your problems because if you don’t, they are just going to get worse!
Do I regret the surgery? No! but I do know that I need to get out of this funk I’m in (and I’m working on it) and get back on track…. remember after surgery your hormones are going C-R-A-Z-Y (I HAVE PCOS) so one second I’m fine and the next I’m not.
Please know that if you’ve had the surgery and are going through this, you ARE NOT ALONE…. and if you haven’t had the surgery don’t be in such a hurry to get it and then think that you’ll worry about your addictions or problems later… no no no no.. don’t do it, do it NOW!
AGAIN, life is not all about colored roses, better said in spanish la vida no es color de rosas…..
Till next time kiddies!